I stated in the last article in this column that we might consider scripture where some would claim to find allowance for remarriage after the first marriage has collapsed. I realize that taking on this issue may bring debate, but let me at least stir your thinking. In Matthew 19: 1-10 our Lord discussed marriage when he was challenged by the Pharisees. His instructions include in verse 9, what is commonly called “the exception clause”. Since virtually every commentator will have just a little different opinion from every other commentator, we will avoid dogmatism, but I still want you to think about it. Strong advocacy of marriage for a life time is not very popular, because our society as a whole has moved so far from God’s standards regarding marriage and almost every other issue. So let’s begin at the beginning.

In Matthew 19:3, we read that the Pharisees came to the Lord Jesus to tempt him. The term “tempt” means to test. Indeed they were going to test him on a very challenging issue. They asked a question. “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?” It is obvious that the issue of marriage and divorce was as sticky then as it is now. There were two prevalent views at the time; one limited divorce to those where there was adultery; the other for virtually any reason. The debate was laid at the Savior’s feet and was intended to divide his would be followers over the issue.

The unmatched wisdom of our Lord was put on display, as he answered, “Have ye not read…?” He immediately turned their attention to the Scriptures. His answer would not place him on one side or the other of the current debate. In fact, He would take them back to the very beginning of time. He would direct them to think about the work of God and the Word of God when He first created mankind and established marriage. “Have ye not read…?” Isn’t that the key for us in considering every issue of concern? What does the Bible say? Of course, in this text there is debate among the best of God’s servants over what it does say, but we will review it.

He said, “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh’. Wherefore they are no longer twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

In that brief statement our Lord revealed his heart concerning marriage. He defines marriage as the work of God in putting a man and woman together, making the two become one. And it is clear that God’s intention is for the marriage to last for a lifetime. More next time.

   Was there ever a time in your life when church involvement was the primary issue in scheduling your time and planning your activities? That is the way it used to be. I remember when I first got saved. My life changed dramatically and for the first time I looked forward to going to church. I wanted to be with Christians and learn about the Lord, through the preaching and teaching of the Bible. I know the excuses about how busy we are, but the truth is that we are each responsible to set priorities in our lives.  Hebrews 10:25 can help us. It says, Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. To what day is the writer referring? Hebrews 9:28 says, So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many: and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation. Hebrews 10:37 says, For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry. None of us know when the Lord is coming, but I know it is a lot closer today than when I got saved in 1963, and only a blind man would not be able to see that “that day” is approaching. I had mixed emotions not long ago when a man came up after an evening service where I was preaching. He wanted me to know that the message had been a blessing and really helped him. That was good. Then he said, “I do not usually come on Sunday nights, but I had nothing else to do so I thought I would come tonight.” Now I know the Bible does not require the New Testament Church to have a Sunday School, Morning Service, Evening Service and Wednesday Prayer meeting, but Christians at an earlier time saw the need in their day to meet often for worship. Do we need less spiritual feeding and fellowship now? Hebrews 10:25 said to meet so much the more as we see the day approaching. Dad, you are the key to this. Set the priorities for your family and take them with you, every time the doors are opened at your local church. Priorities are determined by urgency and importance. When has there been a  more compelling time in our lives to drive us to the Lord for wisdom, direction and courage. Economic distress, job loss, cultural turmoil and governmental irresponsibility should put us on our knees in the fellowship of God’s people. Build your family life around your local church.

In our last article, we ended with this suggestion: If your children have gone astray from the ways of the Lord consider the issue in these terms; why has my child not followed my faith and adopted my values? We started this series by request, and with the promise that we would address the issue forthrightly and compassionately. We will continue.

One of the most meaningful lessons I ever learned as a young father had to do with the relationship between authority and influence. I was especially stirred when the instructor asserted that influence had far greater impact on someone than authority. He went on to tell us that as parents our authority was very significant when a child was young, but as the child got older the impact of authority would diminish, but the impact of influence would greatly increase. Once that truth settled into my heart, and I do believe it is true, I determined to endeavor to be the greatest human influence in each of my child’s lives.

Let’s think about parental authority. It is clearly taught in Scripture. Children are told to obey their parents. Parents are told to train their children and fathers are specifically told to bring up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Parents must remember that children are an heritage of the Lord and therefore entrusted to the parents by the Lord. Parents are told to chasten their children and bring them into subjection.

Some parents do a very poor job of keeping their children well disciplined and we are not surprised when the young people fail to walk with the Lord. We rejoice in the Lord when on some occasions young people who have not been properly disciplined by their parents grow up to know the Lord and serve him faithfully. Oh the marvels of God’s amazing grace.

Where we struggle, and the issue that invites this discussion, is when children have seemingly been well disciplined, but have turned from the Lord or at best are apathetic in their walk with Him. Can we ever understand what went wrong? Maybe not, but let’s consider a few matters.

The first matter is related to how we as parents handle the authority God has given to us. Now, there are no perfect parents, but the Lord warns us about certain critical areas in how we deal with our children. For now, take time to consider how you handled your God given authority over your children. Was there anger, temper, inconsistency or harshness? If we used our authority in an authoritarian way, we may have gotten obedience, but we may have diminished our long term influence. More next time.

What a privilege to be a Mema (my grandchildren’s name for me)! Who would have imagined the wonderful gift grandchildren are to those of us who are getting older! Psalm 71:18, “Now also when I am old and grayheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come.” Do we not have a great responsibility to fulfill as we continue to walk this earthly route? As we have great joy in being grandparents, we have a very sober instruction from God’s Word. We need to walk closer to the Lord and point our grandchildren, by our life and actions, as well as our words, to Him. How special is that! Our lives are full of many things, but one of the very special things we can do as we age is talk about the joy it has been to live for the Lord and serve Him and be what He wants us to be. I count it so very special to be able to pray for my family by name each day; sometimes more than once during the day. With all the worldly distractions all around us, we need to talk more about how faithful our precious Savior is and how He blesses us if we strive to live for Him. We need to tell our grandchildren how God has enabled us to live our lives and how very happy we are that we chose to live for the Lord. We need to talk, “til we’re blue in the face,” about how worth while it has been to live our lives to please the Lord. I am so burdened for our young people today. How I wish we could convince them, before they have ruined their lives, how God has a wonderful plan for their lives and wants to bless them, if they would just give their lives to Him.

The leather bound gift edition is now available. Pray with us for the Lord to use this book for His Glory.  

Pray with us that many will come to the site to hear and consider their need of salvation. We have distributed over 4,000 promotional cards to invite people to the site. We would be glad to send cards to you, at no charge, so you can use them to help reach people for Christ.

BFM Itinerary:

Sept. 13-15 – Buffalo, NY, Pastor Sholler

Sept. 20 -25 – Shickshinny, PA, Pastor Potter

Sept. 27-30 – Narvon, PA, Pastor Muller

Oct. 4-7 – Chillicothe, OH, Pastor Browning

Oct. 9-11 – Easthampton, MA, Pastor Johnson